Point of No Return
by thisfairytalegonebad
Summary: On the train bound for Gralea, Ignis decides there are some things that need to be said. (Angst and emotional hurt/comfort. Set after chapter 9, slight canon divergence but only because the boys talk things out on the train instead of in Cartanica)


**I hate writing dialogues with a passion yet I made myself write almost 5k of dialogue, idk why but this is the result. Hope you enjoy!**

 ***EDIT: I received a nice comment by an anonymous user who called themselves Mischief. Mischief, in case you're coming back to read this, I didn't know how else to reply to you since I can't send messages to anonymous people, but I just wanted to let you know that this story is finished and I don't have any more ideas for how to continue it! Thank you for your comment though!**

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"Gladiolus, a word?"

There was a missed beat before Gladio answered, no doubt due to his full name being spoken so sharply by a man he'd known almost all his life at that point.

"Sure, just… are you sure you want to talk here?" he asked.

Gladio was situated at the bar the train provided. That was where Ignis found him, and Ignis could hear the voices of the other passengers around them as he searched for an empty chair then sat down next to Gladio. It was the opposite of private, especially for the kind of talk they were going to have in a minute if Gladio didn't decide to bail, and without his sight, Ignis found he had trouble blocking out the surrounding voices and background noises which made it hard to focus on a conversation in such a place. But Gladio's voice was familiar enough to latch onto, so Ignis didn't doubt his ability to manage himself just fine.

"Yes. Knowing you, both of us are going to need a drink for this conversation," he said and let Gladio order their drinks. It wasn't like he would've been able to read the list of beverages anyway.

Once they each had a glass in front of them, Ignis wasted no time on pleasantries. "What is your problem, Gladiolus? I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say you have been downright insufferable since Noct woke up, and I want an explanation for it, now."

Gladio inhaled sharply. "Ignis, I-"

"And your explanation had better be good, am I clear?" Ignis interrupted him, definitely not in the mood to deal with any half-assed excuses today.  
He sipped from the glass and frowned in distaste. It was an awfully cheap but overpriced liquor that definitely was not going to help with the throbbing headache he'd had all day, but he hadn't been lying when he said they both needed to be drinking for this.

There was silence for a moment before Gladio took a swig of his drink and started talking, as expected. "Our king is my problem. That's what he is, what he is supposed to be, but calling him that feels more like a lie than ever. So many people need him, the world needs him. So many have sacrificed things for him, and he thinks he can just keep fucking around like nothing happened? I don't fucking think so!"

Gladio paused for a moment, then lowered his voice that had gradually gotten louder as he worked himself up, seemingly remembering the people around them. "Lady Lunafreya gave her life for him. And you- Astrals, Ignis, you're blind, and he doesn't even seem to care- "

"That's right," Ignis cut him off. "I'm blind, and I'm coping. Why aren't you?"

It was a blatant lie, and Ignis knew it. He was fairly certain Gladio knew it too. He wasn't coping nearly as well as he would have liked. But the question seemed to do the trick all the same, for Gladio fell silent and let out a shaky breath. His next words were muffled, and Ignis imagined Gladio was burying his face in his hands as he spoke.

"It- Iggy, I have no right telling you how hard this is for me, because I know it's gotta be so much harder for you, but Gods, Iggy, it hurts to see you in such obvious pain every day, and not being able to do a damn thing about it."

Gladio's hand came down on the wooden surface of the counter, not quite a slam, but it still made loud enough a noise to make Ignis flinch as it sent another jolt of pain through his skull.

"You say your wounds have mended, but that doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt," Gladio continued. There was pain in his voice, and sadness, such a deep sadness it made Ignis shiver. "And I know you get those terrible headaches. You try to hide it, and you hide it well, I gotta give you that. But I've known you for too long, and I can see right through your bullshit by now."

Gladio laughed, but it sounded empty, hollow. Ignis' heart ached for his friend at his obvious anguish, and he couldn't help but reach out to Gladio's general direction. He let his hand rest on the counter in a half-invitation, and after a moment, Gladio gently covered it with his own.

"I know you have a headache even now - don't make that face, I told you I can tell. The only reason why I'm not forcing a painkiller down your throat right now is that you've been drinking. I can't bear to see you in pain like this. You're my best friend, Iggy, always have been."

Ignis turned his hand so his palm was in Gladio's and gave Gladio's hand a firm squeeze. "And you mine, Gladio."

He knew he told Gladio to give him a good, rational explanation, and this talk was getting more emotional than anything else, but that was the actual goal. He wanted Gladio to talk, to be able to share his pain with someone so he could finally move on.

Both of them having been in the crown's service since childhood, they had always been able to count on each other to talk about anything that troubled them without being judged for it. Countless times, Ignis had been willing to listen to Gladio rant about a poor performance he had shown in training on a bad day, or the other recruits that were 'dumber as a brick and had their head so far up their own ass it was a miracle they could breathe'. Gladio's words, not Ignis'. In return, Gladio had always been there to offer a shoulder to lean on when the duties of the royal advisor paired with his self-imposed duties that Gladio called being the prince's babysitter finally became too much.

Now, knowing Gladio, he must have felt like he didn't have the right to complain to Ignis, like his feelings were inferior to Ignis' own ones, and Gladio would have never come to talk to him about all this on his own. But Ignis wanted him to know - needed him to know - that none of this changed anything. He'd still be there to listen to anything Gladio wanted to share, no matter the circumstances. Ignis sincerely hoped he understood as much.

Gladio was quiet for a moment, so Ignis gave him an encouraging nod to get him talking again, but Gladio didn't continue until he had emptied his glass.

"As an Amicitia, I was prepared to die from the moment I took up my duty. Dad taught me to accept that I might die protecting Noct, and I have accepted it. He told me he might die protecting King Regis, and I accepted that too. But not once in my life has it occurred to me that you would be the one to nearly die, to get hurt like this. I wasn't prepared, Iggy, and I don't know how to accept this. If anyone, it should have been me. I'm the shield, it's basically my job to get hurt for Noct. But not yours, never yours. I was ready to die without any regrets, but not anymore. No matter what you think or tell me, I'll always regret not being there for you when you needed me most."

"Then be there for me now, Gladio," Ignis said. He didn't tell Gladio how he couldn't have made a difference anyway, how it had been his own choice and his alone, to put on the ring despite knowing the price would be higher than he could imagine at the time. He didn't tell him that even now that he knew the cost, he would do it again in a heartbeat.

Instead, he decided to be as honest about his own feelings as he hadn't been in a long time. "I still need you, all of you, more than ever now. I need Noct to make me feel not useless. I need Prompto to guide me where I can't go by myself yet. And I need you, Gladio, I need my closest friend to lean on. So please, stop this feud you have with Noct. I understand your feelings on the matter, I really do. But we do not need any more trouble. Our family is damaged enough as it is right now."

Once again, Gladio didn't reply immediately.

Not wanting to focus on the chatter of the other passengers in the background, Ignis busied himself with the rest of his drink instead, finishing it with slow sips. His head ached even worse now, the liquor definitely didn't do him any good, and he wished he could sleep some of the pain away, but there was still a lot to be righted before he could get some rest.

Finally, Gladio spoke up again. "I won't apologize to him. I guess I get that he needs time, and I'll try to let him have it, but I meant what I said about him ignoring you. I won't accept him treating you like this any longer. You said you need him, so he'd better be there for you."

Ignis sighed heavily, because he didn't really expect a different reply, but he wished Gladio would stop being angry on his behalf. He knew better than to ask such a thing from him, though. "I suppose that's the best I can get from you, isn't it? Noct doesn't mean to ignore me, and he doesn't mean any harm, he would never. He simply doesn't know how to cope with the situation, and I can't fault him. I shall talk to him as well if we are quite finished here?"

Gladio gave his hand one more gentle squeeze before he released it with an exhale that sounded a lot more steady than the one before. "You're too selfless for your own good, Iggy."

Ignis just smiled indulgently at that as he reached for his cane.

"You good finding him by yourself?" Gladio asked, not even trying to guide Ignis to the sleeping car without being prompted.

As much as Ignis appreciated some guidance in uncharted territory, he was fairly familiar with the train's layout by now, and any attempt to help would just have earned Gladio a glare that was still as deadly and frightening now that he was without sight, according to Prompto.

"Yes, thank you."

"Good, because in that case, I'll stay here a while longer. I'm glad we talked, Iggy, but I still need another drink or seven now. You're welcome to join after you're done talking to Noct."

"I don't doubt that. Try not to drink yourself stupid, will you?"

"Yeah, sure thing, Iggy."

Ignis shook his head, but couldn't quite suppress a smile. Deciding to trust Gladio not to drink himself comatose, he slowly weaved his way through the people around the bar and between the seats until he reached the sleeping car.

Thanks to the digits on the doors being embossed, he was easily able to find Noct and Prompto's cabin. Reaching out to the door and running his hand along it, he guessed it was only halfway pulled shut, but he still knocked twice and waited for permission to enter.

"Come in," Noct answered, and it tugged at Ignis heart how tired he sounded. Noct had always been prone to nightmares, and Ignis would have been honestly surprised if he didn't have any now. Not that he was doing any better when it came to getting a night's worth of sleep, more than once he had woken up choking back a desperate cry until he realized where he was. He even heard Gladio stir at night, and the man was notorious for being able to be by far the calmest sleeper out of the four of them, so the mere fact that Gladio was losing sleep was proof of how much the events of the past weeks had shaken them all.

Ignis let himself in, careful not to trip over any of Noct or Prompto's belongings they had conveniently left on the floor. It wasn't like there was much room to avoid them, though, and he ended up having to catch himself on the top bunk bed to keep himself from toppling over.

Letting out a long breath and trying very hard not to let his frustration at the situation seep into it, he gave up on trying to orient himself in the tiny room. "Is there anywhere I can sit?"

"Yeah, here beside me," Noct said quietly, and after a moment of hesitation, Ignis heard him get to his feet. Then, a gentle touch on his arm, guiding him down on the mattress.

"How are you, Noct?" Ignis asked, knowing fully well he wouldn't get an honest answer to this particular question, at least not yet. But he also knew that the direct, stern approach may work best for Gladio, but would only cause Noct to shut down completely and refuse to let him in at all.

"Fine," Noct grunted, as predicted. "I hate those beds here, even camping is more comfortable than this. How is anyone supposed to sleep on those?"

It was a poor attempt at small talk. Noct sounded way too shaky despite the lighthearted tone he tried to adopt, but Ignis was not about to point it out to him. Instead, he smiled lightly as he replied in the same tone, "Ah, yes. I am not certain if they even deserve to be called beds. I'm quite sure my back has never ached this badly before."

"Yeah…" Noct said weakly, and then Ignis felt a sensation he hadn't had the pleasure of experiencing in years, but that immediately felt familiar. Noct was leaning against him, very, very tentatively, but when Ignis pressed his own shoulder into Noct's, it was like anything that was holding Noct up just drained right out of him, and he let himself slump against Ignis completely.

"Oh, Noct," Ignis breathed, bringing his arm up to curl it around Noct's shoulder and tugging him very gently against his side. "Noct, I hope you know none of this is your fault. Do you hear? I need you to know this, you are in no way at fault for anything that happened in Altissia."

Noct's breath hitched in his throat, and he turned in Ignis' half-embrace as if trying to make himself smaller by curling closer into Ignis. His hand came up to grab hold of Ignis' shirt.

The action reminded Ignis so much of when they were children and Noct would sneak into his room after a nightmare it made his heart hurt. After this, after Altissia, nothing would ever be the same again, and they all knew it, so this one thing that was still so utterly familiar even after all those years truly came as a blessing to both of them.

"Ignis, I… I never asked for this. I don't want people to keep dying for me. I don't want everyone around me to suffer because of me. I hate all of this so much, I hate the Gods, and I hate every stupid prophecy that says this is right. And now Gladio of all people won't stop being a huge asshole about it" Noct said, words sounding muffled from where he was half pressing his face into the fabric of Ignis' shirt.

Ignis raised his hand to the top of Noct's head and gently stroked his hair. "I know. Believe me, I know. It isn't fair, it never was. As a member of the Crownsguard, I must say I understand that a prophecy is bigger than all of us and cannot be defied. But as your friend, I have no patience for the damned prophecy."

Ignis rarely cursed, so this managed to get a tiny snort from Noct, and Ignis felt quite proud of himself for it.

"I don't want you to have to bear this burden. None of us does, Noct, not even Gladio. I hope you know that. He is not trying to cause you harm with his behaviour. He shares our opinion on the prophecy and your duty, but currently, he doesn't know how else to deal with everything that has happened and is still going to happen other than to push forward. He has been my close friend almost as long as I can remember, and I know that if there is one thing he absolutely hates, it is to feel powerless. That's why he can't be standing still now, needs to keep going instead, and he's trying to pull you with him."

He fell quiet for a moment, giving Noct time to think about his words and understand Gladio's feelings before he continued.

"Is that not what he has always done? Push you to your limit until you surpass it? It may be somewhat misplaced now, but it is the only thing he knows to do. Try not to resent him for it too much."

"Kinda hard not to," Noct muttered bitterly. "You know I always hated it when he pushed me."

Ignis laughed softly. "I remember, yes. But in the end, he always not only pushed you to the edge but also stood at the bottom to catch you, did he not? Why should it be any different now?"

Noct made an unhappy noise from where he was still hiding in Ignis' side, a noise he always made when he knew Ignis is right about something but didn't want to admit it.

"Gladio understands you need time, now. He is willing to give it to you for as long as he thinks it necessary, but then he will continue to push. And you will let him. Grieve now, all you want, and be ready to keep going later. And I want you to always remember you are not carrying this burden alone. Gladio, Prompto, and myself, we are walking right beside you, always. Never forget that, Noct."

When the first sob caught in Noct's throat and Ignis' shirt started to feel slightly damp where Noct's face was pressed into it, Ignis didn't comment, only drawing him into a proper embrace and letting himself fall back onto the mattress with Noct who was clinging to him as though his life depended on it.

He let Noct cry and simply held him. With one hand, he rubbed soothing circles into his back, the other was still stroking his hair. Just like when they were children.

It wasn't just for Noct's benefit, either. If anything, Ignis felt relieved about being able to do something for Noct in a situation as dire as the one they were in right now, and even without his eyesight. After all, he had yet to find out how useful he'd be in a fight, the least he wanted to be able to do was to be there for his friends as much as possible.

When Noctis finally stopped crying, he didn't push away just yet. He kept his head on Ignis' chest, and Ignis guessed he was listening to his heartbeat.

He was ready to hold Noct for however long he needed it, but he wasn't ready for the question Noct asked so quietly he nearly missed it.

"What happened to you in Altissia, Iggy?"

The hand still stroking Noct's hair stilled. "Noct, please don't… don't do this..."

"No, Iggy, you say you'll help me carry my burden, but what about yours? You don't have to deal with everything on your own, please…" Noct said in a pained voice as he pushed himself off Ignis' chest.

Ignis let him.

"Listen, Noct, if… if you order me to tell you, I will." He could never refuse a direct order from his king, after all. "But I ask of you… do not make me tell you, please."

There was silence, for a long time. Noct was sitting perfectly still, Ignis was barely able to hear him breathe. But then, he let out a sharp, helpless laugh. "Okay. I don't like it, but I won't make you. I could never make you. Fuck."

Ignis wanted to tell him to mind his language, it was a reflex, but he caught himself before he could say anything. Because, at this point, did it even really matter anymore?

"Thank you," he said instead and he meant it. He was insanely grateful Noct didn't force him to tell him about the events in Altissia, both because he never wanted any of the others to know what he had chosen to do, but also because he didn't trust himself to talk about it and relive the horrors of it just yet.

He pushed himself to his feet, nodding gratefully when Noct passed him the cane from the floor. "Try to get some sleep. You sound exhausted."

"Yeah, I'll do that. Thanks, Iggy."

"Always, Noct."

As he exited the cabin, he made sure to carefully pull the door shut all the way. His head was pounding mercilessly at this point and he felt the overwhelming urge to lie down and sleep for a while himself, but there was one more thing left to do.

He was fully aware he wouldn't be able to find Prompto on the train, even though he was most likely in the wagon that had windows all the way up to the roof for a better view to take some pictures. Still, it would have been a lot of trouble trying to locate him there, so he pulled out his phone Prompto had set up for him to use. "Call Prompto Argentum," he told it.

It only took one ring for Prompto to pick up. "Yeah? Iggy? You okay?" Prompto asked, sounding worried even with the way the bad connection made his voice sound tinny and unfamiliar.

"Quite alright," Ignis assured him. "I merely wish to talk to you, but I won't be able to locate you. Am I correct assuming you're in the panorama wagon?"

"Uh-huh, I'm here. Want me to come get you? Where are you?"

"No need, I'll be able to get there myself. If you could just meet me there, that would be much appreciated."

"Sure, yeah, I'll be here! See you later, then!"

Ignis disconnected the call and made his way to Prompto's location. True to his word, Prompto was there when Ignis stepped into the wagon and immediately started chattering.

To anyone else, it would have sounded like the usual Prompto chatter, but Ignis had spent too much time with him to fail to see through the facade and make out the real reason why he was talking a mile a minute now. Prompto had figured out pretty quickly that Ignis hated having to be guided around by someone touching him at all times, so whenever it was possible, Prompto just talked nonstop as he walked ahead so Ignis could easily locate him by the sound of his voice.

Once they were situated, Ignis could hear Prompto bouncing his leg nervously. "So, uh, what did you wanna talk about?"

"I merely wanted to thank you, Prompto."

"H-huh? What for?"

"I know those past weeks haven't been easy for any of us. Yet you've been doing your best to maintain some sense of normality and attempt to lift all our spirits. With Noct and Gladio arguing constantly, you and I are the ones who were caught in the middle of it. Nevertheless, you seem to be always right there when I need you, even though I never ask. You figure it out on your own, and you're there. You are an amazing friend, Prompto."

"That's- aw, shit," Prompto said breathlessly, and Ignis could only imagine how red his face must have been in that very moment.

"Do you recall, back in Altissia," he continued, "you apologized for being annoying with your constant talking as you sat with me the first few days after. But if anything, you were a blessing, your voice was something to hold onto, both something familiar and something I didn't need my sight for. For that, I thank you. And perhaps even more, I am grateful for you not letting me push you away. I would be lying if I said I've accepted needing help for mundane tasks. I despise it. But as much as I am loath to admit it, I need it, at least until I've adapted. So I ask this of you, however selfish it may be, don't let me push you away, please."

Prompto let out a choked sound. "Oh my- wow, Iggy, I don't even know what to say. Honestly, I think you give me way too much credit."

Ignis shook his head. "I don't. You deserve it all."

"It's just," Prompto said, "I feel absolutely unneeded in this whole mess. I feel like I'm not contributing anything at all, even less than before. So uh, I'm not like, fully convinced you're not lying to make me feel better but… thanks, man. It's really good to be told something like that."

"I understand. And please know I would never lie to you. Neither about this nor anything else. You have my word for it."

Prompto didn't reply, only managing an embarrassed noise as he was quite obviously at a loss for words.

"Now, I'll retreat to the sleeping cabin, if that is alright with you," Ignis said, pushing himself out of his seat, but the sudden change of position made his head pound even more viciously than before and he had to grab the back of the seat in order not to fall over.

Prompto was at his side instantly, touching his arm with some hesitation. "Iggy, what's wrong?"

Lifting a hand to his aching head, Ignis exhaled slowly. "I am alright. It's just a headache. A little bit of sleep should fix it." It wouldn't, he knew this by now, but nevertheless lying down and sleeping for a little while sounded heavenly.

"Okay, but please let me walk you back to the cabin. I know you can find your way no problem, but you look like you're about to keel over, so, please?"

Figuring it wasn't a good idea to refuse help so soon after admitting to being grateful for it, Ignis nodded. "Yes, that would be much appreciated. Thank you."

Together, they made their way to the cabin he and Gladio were staying in. Once there, Ignis let Prompto take his cane and put it away for him.

"I think you should take a painkiller, do you want one?" Prompto asked, but Ignis shook his head with some regret.

"That would be unwise. I had a bit of alcohol with Gladio before. I just need to sleep for a while."

"Okay, uh, I'll leave you alone, then. Just…" Prompto trailed off, and Ignis imagined him staring at his feet in embarrassment.

"What is it, Prompto?" he asked gently. "Do not be afraid to ask."

"I just- can I hug you?" Prompto blurted out.

Ignis' eyebrows shot up in surprise. Out of anything he could have asked, this was about the last thing he expected. But in retrospect, he really shouldn't have been surprised. Prompto had always appreciated physical contact, after all, and with all that had happened, it was only natural for him to seek comfort in touch.

So Ignis nodded, opening his arms a little as an invitation. "Certainly. You know you don't have to ask."

Prompto stepped forward until Ignis was able to circle his arms around him, and then let his head rest on Ignis' shoulder for a long moment before pulling back.

"Thank you, Iggy. I kinda… needed that, you know," he admitted. "Sleep well. We won't disturb you, and just call if you need anything," he added in his usual chipper tone Ignis couldn't help but smile at.

"Of course. Maybe you could visit the bar, I'm sure Gladio wouldn't mind the company," he suggested. "Do make sure he hasn't drunk himself into a coma, would you?"

Prompto snickered. "Yep, just leave it to me. You rest now, I've got it."

When the cabin door clicked shut, Ignis finally lay down on the atrocious bed to allow himself some rest.

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 **Honestly at first I thought the part with Gladio was the best I could do but then I got to Noct's part and I made myself sad by writing it, damn do they all need a hug.**

 **This fic feels kinda weird to me and I haven't quite decided if I like it or not, but if you did, please consider leaving me a comment. Those mean a lot to me, really keep my little nerd heart beating!**

 **Also, do come talk to me on Twitter ( Butterfly_OnIce) or Tumblr (thisfairytalegonebad), I'd be delighted!**


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